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I start Chapter Three during July 2008 in Denham Green, England. We have given notice to our landlord, Joe has relocated to his new apartment and we have come to an agreement with a removal company recommended to us by Mike.
At the risk of teaching anyone to suck eggs, if you are planning to emigrate and are in receipt of Tax Credits, Child Benefit or any other benefits from a government run department; notify them of your change of circumstance at least three months prior to leaving and make sure you have a written record of every communication. In our experience, trying to stop them from sending you money was more difficult than applying for it. As there are hefty penalties for not giving reasonable prior notice to avoid overpayment, proving that you have done what is required of you is paramount. As we had planned to keep our UK bank account open we were concerned about any overpayments.
Bearing in mind that we were leaving on July 31st, it took us from the first week in May to the last week of July (including numerous letters, phone calls and tracing correspondence that had been sent to Canada in error) to finally have our situation acknowledged. Even now, we have still found unexplained credits to our account and are currently corresponding with the departments concerned, in order to clear everything up.
Bon Voyage!Our tenancy at the house ended four days prior to us leaving for Canada, so we decided to book ourselves into a hotel at Heathrow for the remainder of our time in the UK.
With all of the official and practical tasks taken care of, the time had come for the part we were dreading - saying goodbye. It didn't matter how much time we had spent preparing for the moment, when it finally came, we fell apart. Our advice to anyone who should want it is; whatever you do, avoid saying goodbye at the airport. The journey itself is stressful enough, without adding further emotional trauma to it.
We didn't want a big 'farewell' party as it had potential to be a bit impersonal - like weddings, you may not get the time to see everyone and give them the attention they deserve.
We opted to spend quality time with close friends individually, over a period of time. Shannon attended a 'year 6 leavers party' organised by her school and also enjoyed a birthday party with friends and family.
Alan, Shannon and I spent a wonderful evening with my Mum, Dad and Joe two nights prior to leaving. We opted for a takeaway at Mum and Dad's flat; nothing elaborate just a good old family get-together. It was one of the funniest and most enjoyable times spent with them. It was a beautiful summer's evening so photos were taken in the garden - thanks to my Dad's timing and Alan's one liners it was a riot. The goodbyes at the end of the night were still highly emotional but we had some fantastic memories, just by keeping it low key.
Alan's side of the family, all joined us on our final evening at the hotel. Joe and his girlfriend Claire had spent the afternoon with us 'celebrating' Shannon's birthday - they then came back to the hotel with us. This farewell was not any easier than the one the night before. Even now, as I'm relaying this story to you, the nauseous feeling I had then has returned and tears are threatening.
The picture that remains ingrained in my mind, are the faces of my two children saying goodbye to one another. Along with the majority of children with such an age gap in between them, displays of public affection were rare but that night I saw a scene so touching that I felt wretched for being the reason they held on so tight. True to his character, Joe conducted himself with impeccable control but his eyes revealed just how hard this was for him - as it was for us all.
The fact remains that his decision to stay in the UK was, and still is, right for him at this time in his life. We all know that cheap flights of short duration are plentiful and at nineteen, he has the option of fantastic holidays in Canada when he pleases - a second home too. We can all use a computer; Skype phones are easy to use and cost nothing. I also intended to keep my 'pay monthly' mobile phone account running for the following two months, so that I could text him every day. All of these factors make the worst part of our emigration bearable.
I apologise to you now, if my account of our goodbyes has taken you down a rather gloomy road but I feel that if your reasons for reading this are to gain an insight into the emigration 'experience' as a whole, then this part of our story should be an honest one. As with every other aspect of emigrating, you can put this on your list as a con; but for every con there are pro's that will ultimately outweigh it.
Touch Down
We left Heathrow at 1pm UK time. We flew with Icelandair which meant a three hour stopover in Reykjavic. We chose this airline as they had the largest baggage allowance, at the time. The stopover could have been a bit of a pain but we used this time to complete the forms that customs would require, with regards to our 'goods to follow'. Shannon was also happy, as she had brought her portable DVD player (and thanks to duty free, had gained a couple of new films).
By the time we had landed, we were pretty much 'together' emotionally and were looking forward to a decent night's sleep. As it was a late arrival we opted for a night in a budget hotel at the airport, before moving to our rented accommodation. When I say, 'budget', the Canadian version of budget doesn't mean ancient beds, stale sandwiches and stained towels; our rooms were modern, immaculate and breakfast the following morning was a feast. As usual, we were greeted by the waitress with, 'welcome to Nova Scotia! You're gonna love it!' And we do.
Lakeside livingOn checking out of our hotel, we made our way to Fall River and to the basement apartment that we had rented for the next two months. The long rental was to give us time to find a house that we really wanted, not one that we had to settle for because we were running out of time.
It is with great gratitude to Annette and Jerry that we had come by this apartment, as we had originally planned to rent one in Halifax. Our chosen community in which to settle was Fall River but we couldn't find a suitable, short term rental on the internet. We were a little concerned as this would have meant that Shannon couldn't attend the school of our choice - if you don't have a Fall River address, your child cannot attend the local school. The primary school there is so popular, that they have to be very stringent about the geographic criteria.
By us sending regular e-mails to Mike, Annette and Jerry, they were aware of our situation. One evening, we received an e-mail from Annette informing us of a basement suite that was available for rent; it was part of a lakefront property in Fall River that was well within the catchment area of our chosen school. The basement was a 'walkout' which meant that we would have our own entrance - this allowed privacy for both parties and the rent was extremely reasonable. These facts pricked our ears up immediately but when the photo's came through, we were ecstatic! The windows were from floor to ceiling, looking directly out onto the lake; and the 'suite' was as bigger than the first floor of our house in the UK!
First ImpressionsBack to the present: Our eyes were like saucers as we pulled into a very long driveway with tall trees flanking both sides. Nestled at the bottom of it was a beautiful house that, although big, had a warm and homely look to it. As we pulled to a halt we could see the lake right at the bottom of the garden. I haven't asked Alan or Shannon what their feelings were but my stomach was host to a million butterflies.
As we parked, a lady with a huge smile and twinkling eyes approached us. 'Hi! I'm Debra, you must be the Carraghers, welcome to Canada!'
I don't know if it was the breeze that ruffled her hair or the communal sigh of relief that we let out. Her warm welcome made us feel happy and secure.
Breaking The Ice - The Canadian Way
Later in the day we had to go out for some basic groceries and one or two household items. On our return, we were unloading the car when Debra called out to us. She invited us to meet her good friends Charlotte and Stuart, who were enjoying drinks out on the deck. Hands still full of bags we went over to say hello.
I was very self aware and wanted to make a good impression - as much as you can do with an ironing board under one arm and bags bulging with unhealthy groceries in the other, for all to see. In my best British accent, I politely conversed with Charlotte. After just a few minutes, I felt quite at ease, our gypsy like appearance all but forgotten.
Alan was deep in conversation with the men, I was engrossed in conversation with Debra and Charlotte; Shannon was standing just behind us taking everything in. I was gathering up momentum, spilling out my life story, when I heard Debra mumbling. Not knowing her very well, I thought that she had either become bored with listening to me or had some kind of affliction. I did what us Brits do best and carried on, pretending that I hadn't noticed anything.
As I went on, I became a little uncomfortable as Debra had started to wander behind me, staring at my back and still mumbling - Charlotte didn't look unnerved so, after a quick sideway glance, I carried on. Well, all I can remember from that second on, was hearing a loud 'crack' and lurching forward from the waist upwards, my feet still firmly on the floor. Charlotte looked dumbstruck and everyone fell silent, all looking in my direction.
Out of the silence, a voice asked me if I was ok. It was coming from behind me and it belonged to Debra; I was actually scared to look round. I stared straight in front of me, my eyes fixed on Charlotte, who was still looking shocked; I was hoping for a more reassuring expression!
I squeaked at her, 'What happened?'
"I'm sorry, oh I'm so sorry, are you ok'?, Deb was now standing next to me, a mixture of concern and apology etched on her face.
Charlotte had now found her voice and exclaimed, 'Deb! What were you thinking?'
I had just worked out that she has slapped me! Square in the back! The woman had slapped me!
I remember my mind racing; was this some kind of Canadian welcome ritual? Or had our cheque for the rent bounced?
Interrupting my wild thoughts, I heard Debra say to Alan, 'if you don't kill them they take a real chunk out of you'.
I swung my head round in horror; did she mean me? Oh God, we're living in the Canadian version of Fawlty Towers!
I then felt Debra's hand on my arm (I did well not to leap back screaming for help) and indicated to the floor behind me.
'I'm so sorry but I had to', she said, 'horseflies can give you a really nasty bite and this one was on your back'.
There on the deck was the biggest fly I had ever seen, lying on its back with its legs in the air - I know how it felt!
Once the explanation had registered, we all saw the funny side; all inhibitions disappeared and we spent a good while laughing about it. The ice was well and truly broken (I was thankful that it wasn't my spine!)
IntegrationHaving the ice broken in such a way, made settling in easy. We felt comfortable enough to approach Debra and Jim with any questions we had about protocols and what was expected from us as members of the community.
Green issues area big deal in Nova Scotia and recycling is dealt with in an efficient way. Nothing is wasted and if anything can be recycled, the provisions to do so are put in front of you. Virtually every public area has a selection of bins for paper, organics and plastic. If you buy anything that happens to come in a plastic or glass bottle, you are charged a ten cent deposit, which encourages you to return it for recycling and recover your money.
Volunteering is another thing that is important to Nova Scotians and it is a perfect way to introduce you to your neighbours and create a social circle. Good manners and respect for people and property are taught at an early age, therefore helping one another comes naturally and is not restricted to your own circle of close friends.
We have learned that integration isn't just about addressing the official tasks that are waiting for you on arrival. What may seem like smaller issues, actually play just as an important role in a smooth transition. Without having the benefit of Mike, Orla, Annette and Jerry 's experience, such things can be overlooked.
Motors and HomesWe gave ourselves a day to recover from the journey and then had to set to work. Touching base with Mike was top of the list as he would supply us with useful contacts and telephone numbers of the agencies/people that we needed to deal with. As always, his advice and guidance was priceless.
As we had already obtained our Permanent Resident and SIN cards (Social Insurance Number) our list of priorities were to:
- Obtain medical cards
- Contact an accountant to advise us on the laws of Income Tax and the transition between the UK and Canada.
- Register with a Doctor and Dentist (ask your doctor for photocopies of your notes for the last three years. It's not a necessity but it can only be a benefit to you and your new Doctor)
- Make contact with the school principal
- Transfer our bank account from Alberta to Nova Scotia and make contact with the manager of the local branch.
- Meet with our mortgage advisor
- Meet with Annette Murphy
- Look for a car
During one of our trips to Alberta, we opened a bank account and kept just $25 there. The idea was to have everything set up, should we want to transfer any money over prior to us landing.
During our last research trip, we made contact with Jerry Murphy. It is with thanks to him that we obtained the details of Catherine Fitzsimmons - a mortgage advisor. Once again, frequent e-mails were exchanged - sometimes just to wish each other a merry Christmas! Catherine's approach to us was much like everyone else's; kind, understanding; only ever wanting to be helpful and above all; instilling an unshakable trust within us. We knew that we were in safe hands.
As property is extremely good value over here, it is tempting to put all of your money into a house and be mortgage free. It became apparent that if you are lucky enough to come over with a lump sum, it may be prudent to resist that temptation. Being a new immigrant, you will not have a credit rating/history and you will need one at some point. For example; unless you have shipped your car over with you, you will need to purchase one. If all of your money is tied up in your home you will need credit to do so - and buying a car without credit is extremely difficult, if not impossible.
On the subject of vehicles; we found out that if you have accrued a no claims bonus on your UK insurance policy, it is possible to have that transferred to an insurance company here. You must provide proof of the last six years by way of a letter from your previous insurers, endorsing your claim. The transfer of 'no claims' also applies to contents insurance, on purchasing your home. The same rules apply.
Give Us Some Credit, Do!A mortgage will not accrue a credit history for you but it will free up some cash. We have started a credit history by getting a secured credit card. Also, our cell phone contract is linked to our credit rating.
Home Sweet HomeOn arrival here, we continued to trawl the MLS website. We identified properties that were attractive to us, then drove around to see what they looked like in reality - albeit a very discreet curbside view.
We were aware that two new roads had been built in our community, mainly due to the fact that Alan had been drawn to one of the houses that had been built there. It was during that outing that we spotted a beautiful house with a 'turret'. Whereas Alan and Shannon thought it attractive; I fell in love. But, so far, this was the only turret house that we had seen in the area and it was already sold. Although, there were plenty of Lots (plots of land) that were available to build on.
Alan and I had touched on the subject of building your own when we were in the UK. Alan kept an open mind but, me being me, I was too cautious to entertain it. I felt intimidated by such a big project of which we had no experience - not only that, we would be dealing with regulations and terms that would be alien to us. In addition, we would have to spend more time and money on renting an apartment, for a lot longer than we had accounted for.
However, now that we were here and we had seen the house of our dreams, I started to get a little more open minded about things. Alan and I spent the next few evenings mulling over the pro's and con's of building our own home; based only on what we had researched on the internet. Now was the time to get in touch with Annette.
We met up with Annette, presented her with our wish list and told her that we were curious about 'new builds'. She elaborated on the process and promised to arrange viewings of several properties, each at different stages of the process.
The very next morning, Annette came to pick us up. The morning proved to be enlightening. In seeing the different stages of development we were able to see what things such as; air exchangers, central vac and furnaces looked like. So far, these items were just words on a MLS property description to us, we had no idea what they were or what their function was. Another benefit was that, because the practical evidence was in front of us, it prompted questions and ideas that would not have come to mind whilst looking at MLS. Annette also gave us a more detailed insight of the building process.
Options and ChoicesThat evening, our main topic of conversation was of course, the houses that we had seen and what we had learned.
Briefly, it was explained that the schedule for completion was roughly three months - houses are wood framed over here and the builders are far more enthusiastic about getting the job done, without corners being cut. Customer satisfaction is extremely important to people of trade in Nova Scotia.
Another fact that we hadn't known about was that within the asking price, you were given an allowance for your choices of; flooring, cabinetry and lighting. Obviously the furnace is essential but you have the choice of leasing it rather than buying it outright. Another benefit was that you can choose your 'lot' and have it cleared to your specifications (within the regulations) such as keeping the trees you wanted and how much of the front of your house you wanted exposed to the street. The builder would be in regular contact with you, going through your design requirements and guiding you through the process with his expert advice and experience. Another enormous bonus, was that the house would be fully decorated throughout and all light fittings would be present and in working order.
The key word that kept popping up was 'choices' - we would be in control. We would be in charge of how much money was spent therefore things wouldn't snowball out of control, unless we let it.
Making Our Mind Up
As was our usual approach to our new life, we made a list of pro's and con's.
Our list was rather involved and its contents were to do with our own personal circumstance, so I won't bore you by relaying it to you. Suffice it to say, building our home was within our reach.
The matter of extending our rental with Debra was addressed and true to her character she told us that she was flexible. This news was received with enormous gratitude on our part, as we knew Debra had plans of her own - she had put her property up for sale. With unbelievable selflessness, she told us that the prospect of having our own home built was so exciting and that she would do what she could to help us; even if it meant manipulating the closing date in order to keep a roof over our heads for the duration of our project. We had to pinch ourselves!
We e-mailed Annette and informed her of our intentions and she was just as excited for us - although her maternal side produced words of sense and practicality that would keep our feet on the ground. She knew our limitations as well as we did and she didn't want to see us get out of our depth. It felt (and still does) like everyone was living our dream right along with us, everyone we met genuinely wanted us to succeed and be happy.
Our next step was to meet with Catherine to discuss our mortgage options. Again, no delays, Catherine was on our doorstep the next morning to go through things with us. We were pleased to find out that we were in a great position to go ahead with our project. As with everyone else, Catherine kept nothing back and made sure that we were aware of every eventuality, so that we could make an informed decision. And that's exactly what we did.
As I write this account of our new life, our house is still being built. As there is much to tell, it has a chapter reserved for itself.
SchoolWhereas emigration is a colossal thing to deal with as a family, there are individual challenges and adjustments that are just as huge. It is because of this that they can be more daunting as they can only be addressed alone.
For the adults, one personal issue would be employment. As with the decision of whether to emigrate or not, we have a certain amount of choice where our new job is concerned. There is still trepidation of the unknown but we can alleviate it slightly by choosing a job that requires skills and limits that are familiar to us; there is also the choice of moving on if you don't like it.
For children, they have no choice but to go to school and, if they don't like it, they have no choice but to remain there; depending on what and how many suitable schools there are in your community.
Thanks to Mike and Orla, we were aware of the good schools in Fall River. During our last research trip, we made an appointment to be shown round a school, giving Shannon a chance to prepare herself and have any anxieties that she may have, quelled. All three of us came away from the school with a good feeling. When asked, Shannon told us that she had no real fears about going to that school. We hoped that her feelings would be the same, come her first day.
Back to the present: Leading up to the start of term, we contacted the Principal who arranged to see us all on the day before the start of term. The intention being to remind Shannon of the layout of the school, to meet a few of the teachers and to quell our own anxieties about protocols and what is expected of us all.
The School BusSomething that you may want to know about is the criteria that you have to meet in order to have use of the school bus. It was due to my Aunt, who moved to Ontario over fifty years ago, that I knew to raise the question, 'how far away from the school do you have to live to be eligible to use the School Bus?' For this particular school, the radius is 2.4km - it may be different at other schools, so it would pay to check this out before purchasing a house, especially if you would need to rely on this service.
We found out that Shannon was entitled to use the School Bus but we had to look up which one and the timetable on a link from the school's website. The school doesn't do this for you.
The Big DayIf Shannon felt nervous on the morning, she did a marvellous job of hiding it. As a result of her previous visit, she already knew that she didn't have to wear a uniform and that her English accent would attract the right kind of attention. Apparently the Canadian children love it.
She was entitled to use the School Bus (yes, the big yellow one, just like the ones we see on TV!) but we wanted to take her in ourselves, just for that morning, and she would get the bus home in the afternoon. As we approached the road leading up to the school, we realized that many other parents had the same idea, parking was a nightmare!
After squeezing to the front of a throng of bodies, we reached the glass doors that displayed numerous lists (we aren't the only ones!) of which children were allocated to which classes.
Eventually we found out where we had to be. The playground was crammed with children making full use of the space. The noise was almost deafening and Alan and I were getting nervous for Shannon - although she seemed quite unfazed by it all. Of course, we were used to walking into playgrounds full of over-excited kids, tearing around and shouting at the top of their voices, but this was strange. The voices had unfamiliar accents, the phrases being shouted were unfamiliar and everyone seemed to know one another - apart from Shannon.
The bell sounded and Shannon said goodbye to us (so many goodbyes in this story!) and lined up in front of her new teachers, along with all the other kids. I felt nauseous and I'm sure Alan wasn't feeling any better. We stood at the edge of the playground and watched her. She could only have been in the queue seconds, when two girls that were standing in front of her turned round to say hello. There were beaming smiles all round. They were still talking animatedly, as they walked in and Shannon was so engrossed that she didn't look back.
A Welcome ChangeThat afternoon, I met Shannon at the end of the drive, where the bus dropped her off. Just one look at her told me that she'd had a good experience. As with most children of her age, if you ask questions you're given the shortest version of the answer possible; so on asking how it all went, I decided to settle for 'it was good'. However, Alan and I were pleasantly surprised when, later at the dinner table, she started to voluntarily comment on her day.
Two factors really impressed her, those being; students don't have to wear a uniform and in her grade (6), you are allowed to chew gum in class - so long as the teacher doesn't hear you chewing it or see it (bubbles etc.).
As she gathered up momentum she only stopped for breath! The children had all been polite and welcoming towards her. The two girls that were in front of her in the queue that morning, remained with her for the rest of the day (they are still good friends, even now). She was also extremely impressed with the cafeteria; there is a permanent snack bar to purchase items for recess or additions to lunch, a microwave oven is provided for Grade 6 students to warm soup etc. And the school dinners are tasty.
A menu for the month is sent home with each student along with a price list. Your child chooses which day they want to have a dinner, you tick the box and pay $2 for every meal. She loves it.
Over the last two months, we have noticed a significant change in Shannon's demeanour. When attending school in the UK, she seemed happy enough but had a reserved and self consciousness about her. She was far too aware of her appearance and was already into make-up and issues that you would expect to be of concern to a teenager. Far from being confident in her personality and appearance, she was always prepared to be judged or ridiculed. She wasn't allowing herself to enjoy her childhood - or was it that the British society wasn't allowing her to do that?
After just one week at school over here, she became; outgoing, sociable and confident in herself - actually wanting to go to school. Not once, since we have been here has she asked to stay home. Her first sleepover is coming up and she can't wait. We are so relieved.
Previous client stories
The Witt's StoryThe Saunders' Story